Yeah, that didn't happen.
Oh well, each dawn is a new day, and each day is a new beginning.
However, there is also something to be said for this.
(Thank you to my wonderful friend Tifani, for this. It's now posted on my vision board)
In all honesty, I had put this blog to the farthest reaches of my mind. I didn't want to think about it, because for so long it represented the belief that I was never going to be able to lose the weight I wanted to be a healthier person. It was a shining beacon of my failures, something that was better to be ignored so that I didn't get depressed. Because when I get depressed I eat more chocolate. And more fast food. And that is very counter-productive.
The last few days I haven't been able to stop thinking about it though. As much as I have tried to squash the thought of this little blip on the interweb I couldn't. So here I am, starting anew. Starting fresh. Back on my journey to a healthier, happier life.
As I looked back over my original posts, I realized something very important. I'm not the same person I was 3 years ago. While I may weigh about the same (which I'm actually pretty happy with, considering the newest addition to our family arrived 4 months ago) my outlook on what is healthy is drastically different. Sure, I have been struggling on actually implementing that new outlook. But I'm not looking to a dieting plans to help me lose weight. I just want to overall be healthier.
And with that in mind I've come back to the blogosphere. To create an online journal of where this journal takes me and my family. Because lets face it. I'm a work-at-home mom who is (typically) in charge of whether we eat healthier or not. With a husband who works crazy hours and a three year old with very little say on what ends up on the dinner table it usually comes down to me. And while life with a toddler brings quite a few food battles, I'm fortunate to have a husband willing to try just about any crazy thing I put on the table. At least once. And very rarely does he request we relocate to a restaurant for the remainder of our dining.
I have no idea where this journal is going to go. My intention is to post daily. But lets face it; life happens. Or better yet, procrastinating happens. I do suspect that the future will hold a lot of really difficult times. Tears and fears, anxiety and anger at myself. But there is a light at the end of this journey, calling me towards it. A light guiding me to a time when I am healthier.
Not skinnier. Not a size 6 (okay, I wouldn't mind that, but it's not really the goal).
It's guiding me to a time when I have more energy. More focus. When my body is lean and strong. When I want to play with my kids because it's enjoyable. When I can hike a mountain without feeling like I'm going to die. When I want to hike a mountain without feeling emotionally exhausted. When my body feels nourished by healthy, natural, whole foods, not bogged down by the crap I've been feeding it.
So here's to the start of a new day. A new beginning. And this time I'm not giving up. There is too much at stake. Too much for me to get healthy for. Starting with these two right here.
These guys are my future. They are who I need to be healthier for. So that I can be here for them and for their children. So that I can teach them how to nourish themselves in a healthy way.
It's time to STOP GIVING UP. And it starts today
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